How To Determine Your Beliefs, Worth, and Values

Dr. Alex discusses how our beliefs can shape our worth and values. Find out how to change yours.

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Over the last 30 years, at least half of my clients have either had a worth, value, or identity problem with themselves, others, or both.

Each time, their belief of their worth and values has been incorrect or misaligned somewhere down the line; it has often shaped how they feel about themselves and the world, determining everything they say, do, and even how others perceive them.

It happens to us all!

‘Beliefs’, ‘Worth’, and ‘Values’ are terms used interchangeably without much thought, but the connection is crucial.

We must learn to correctly identify (and realign) them to better navigate the world.

Below, I clarify what these terms mean, how they shape our opinions, and how we can turn our negatives beliefs into positive ones.

HOW WE FORM BELIEFS: DEFINING BELIEFS, WORTH, AND VALUES

In short, a belief refers to how we feel about anything, whereas our worth and values focus on the importance or cost we place on something.

For example, if I believe I am not good enough, I will place low value and worth upon myself- ‘I am worthless.’

Often something will happen during our formative years that will change the belief of our own worth and value.

This is usually a trauma, which can cause us to form an unconscious bias about ourselves or others.

It often follows a ‘therefore’ or ‘then’ pattern- ‘I was told I won’t do well, therefore I am not good enough to succeed.’

The problem is, some beliefs are harder to untangle.

So how do we separate the truth from the lies?

WHY WE MUST IDENTIFY AND REDEFINE BELIEFS

To shift our worth and values, we must identify, separate, and correct the wrong ‘untrue’ beliefs and turn them into truthful ones.

Ultimately, we only behave in a way that truly aligns with our beliefs.

Therefore, living a happy life depends on us steering away from destructive beliefs and values.

Consider all the current conversations and issues around the world-  Black Lives Matter, The ‘me too’ Movement, gender equality, coronavirus, worldwide politics.

Every single debate, argument, and struggle involved in these conversations come from a different point of view- differing beliefs.

For us to hold a real conversation on these topics and work towards real change, we must be able to identify our bias beliefs, leave them at the door, and look at the whole truth.

We must value people and beliefs, not dehumanize.

HOW TO IDENTIFY AND REDEFINE BELIEFS

I believe the answer is to be constantly vigilant. How?

If our beliefs dictate how we feel and act, they can also dictate the choices we make and how we live our lives.

If you’re experiencing unhappy outcomes, this is my advice:

Make a constant, consistent decision, every day, to identify and resolve negative beliefs.

Instead, replace them with positive ones that will improve worth and value.

Start with this exercise.

Focus on every major area of your life. Then ask yourself:

-       What do I believe in/ what is valuable to me?

-       Why do I believe it? How did this belief form?

-       Identify any ‘sub-beliefs’ or competing beliefs that stem from this

-       Do they work against what you want to achieve?

Now identify where each belief sits on a sliding positive-negative scale.

Which are true? Which are lies?

Be suspicious of more extreme beliefs that you do not remember forming or searching out.

Circle these beliefs and consciously choose to replace them when you notice them.

Be kind, listen, value others, and meditate (or pray) on what you wish to change.

Remember, we can create new neural pathways and change our brain chemistry by adapting our learned behaviors.[1]

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Have a blessed, wonderful day!

Alex Loyd